im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
