dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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