So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
