just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
