can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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