It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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