yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
