She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
