After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
