Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
