that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
