im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just high enough for therapy.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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