Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
