Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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