so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
