i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
