I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
