so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
