All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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