Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
