Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
