HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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