When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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