xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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