Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
