You're completely useless in the revolution.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
