Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
wow bdsm is so cute
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
