sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
