He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
