Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
