Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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