don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
