life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
