She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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