Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
