i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
