We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize