Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
