After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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