I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize