we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
