did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
