I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's blow job season.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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