Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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