Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
