Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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