I just made out with a guy for $7.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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