So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's never too late to be topless.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
