You made me cry and you don't even care
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
