Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
