Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
