Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
