You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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