And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
