we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
