Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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