Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
