thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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