I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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