I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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