I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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